Thursday, September 24, 2009

Self confidence vs. Self Esteem

Self Confidence -


realistic confidence in one's own judgment, ability, power, etc.
2. excessive or inflated confidence in one's own judgment, ability, etc.

Self Esteem is a realistic respect for or favorable impression of oneself; self-respect.

Self Confidence is a realistic confidence in one's own judgment, ability, power, etc.

How do the two differ to you? In this instance -- To me self esteem is thinking you can (or deserve) to wear something sexy. Self confidence is the actual ability to do it.

I was thinking a lot about this last night. I am gaining my self esteem again. I am TRYING so hard to get my self confidence back. I need to be able to do things for ME and no one else. I was getting dressed last night and went to put on some sexy undies (I had some that I used to fit into a while ago, didn't for awhile and do again) but I didn't put them on. It was in my head that no one would want to see me in them -- So why bother?

Later in the evening I thought -- Why bother? Because I wanted to see me in them. I wanted to wear them. Was that selfish of me? Maybe. But on some things - I need to be selfish. I need to see myself as sexual/sexy. I need to remember what silk feels like against my skin. I need to feel pretty. To be pretty. And to have someone else think I am those things. And to have someone else want to see me in something like that.

So the question is - How do I get my self confidence back? Just steal it away from what ever imaginary beast I think stole it from me? Just START doing things for myself?

It sounds so much easier than it is to actually do.

Some body give me back my damned self confidence -- and just a little extra self esteem too.

A work in progress - still going commando

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