Monday, February 14, 2011

That Girl....

I am pouty and whiny. Everyone is asleep. And I am websurfing. And it is making me even more pouty and whiny.

I want to be one of those girls. I have always wanted to be one of those girls. That girl.

I have been looking at tumblr and flikr pages. I want to take cool pics of the cool things in my life. Sexy things. Body parts. Elusive and sexy. Rumpled beds. Cool apartments. Exotic cities.

I wanted to be a cool girl in high school. I wasn’t. I was an invisible girl. I was my sister’s sister. My brother’s sister. My mother’s daughter. I was never just Kebbie. I have been at points in my life.

I grab onto it for a little while….and then I lose it again. For a few minutes I am the popular girl at the party.

I am the girl wearing naughty undies under a formal dress. I am the girl that takes elusive and sexy pictures of blurred and various body parts.

Then it slips away again. And I am the Mommy. The wanna be Mommy. The one trying to get to be a Mommy. The wife that is unclogging the toilet. Digging the garden. Wearing granny panties under Mom jeans. – Ok, kids – let us not go THAT far. But you get the picture. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE my life. Being a Mama is all I have ever wanted. But sometimes....

I will be 41 in a week. I will be doing my three millionth IVF in a couple of months. I will be babysitting 5 kids under the age of 3. I will be the mother of a 3 year old and the Aunt Keb to a 15 year old.

Somewhere in there I will lose the 15 pounds I have gained since breaking my toes TWICE. And lose another 35 pounds.

And maybe – just maybe ….if you see a picture of a blurred random body part…or rumpled bed….or both…maybe I will have become that girl.

(sexy body part...not mine)

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

4 days to write a blog!?

Friday, February 4, 2011

8:49 a.m. I blog daily in my head – always – no matter what I am doing. The blogs in my head are always WAY more exciting than the ones in type. Why is that? I think it is because I forget the cute and witty things I think about once I get the chance to sit down.

Anyone who knows me will tell you I am the most Unorganized person on the planet. I TRY – I really do. But I fail … miserably. Every night before I go to bed I read flylady. She tells me to shine my sink. I realize that I have a sink full of dirty dishes because I still have not made our chore chart.

TODAY is my day tho!! Every time I walk into a room I am going to do SOMETHING. Wash a glass, fold a shirt, pick something up off the floor, polish a mirror, iron a shirt – you get the picture. I am NOT going to sit in my chair and chat online or watch tv. I am going to ACCOMPLISH something.

In every house I have had I have tried to keep it clean, organized and well decorated. My dining room is VERY well decorated right now. Valentines Day is up – Along with the Christmas garland above the window. I am thinking about just taking the Christmas stuff of it and hanging hearts on it.

11:19 a.m. Ok, so my plan is working well so far. The dishes are ¾ of the way done, I have successfully ironed 2 shirts, moved the drier out and cleaned behind it, reattached the drier hose so that my bathroom is not a dusty sauna every time we dry clothes, washed 2 loads of laundry, breakfast for 3 kids and snacks. Lots of diaper changes in between and 2 successful trips to the potty! Don’t forget about the 3 phone calls I have had to make this morning. dashing off to get juice bottles back in a bit

Tuesday, February 08, 2011

8:45 a.m. – Ok – 4 days to write something that no one wants to read!? Really!?!?! Sheesh – Bottles done, breakfast served, snow swirling down, TODAY show on. On my 4th cup of coffee for the day.

The house is coming right along. Still a LONG way to go but I am still doing “something” every time I walk through a room. It is working well. Chunk’s Mom convinced me to go to a core and strength class last night. It feels like a troop of monkeys danced on my spine all night. I think I might have broken a muscle or something. Note to self – wrap your broke ass toe before Zumba tonight!! I feel better now that I am working out again. I HAVE to work out – I think I have gained about 10 pounds. Or it feels like it. I am too scared to get on the scale. And ashamed. I took my sweat pants off this morning and put jeans on. I don’t over eat when I am already wearing tight jeans. Trying to do liquids during the day and a meal in the evening to get back on track.

There was a big kafuffle on FB a few weeks ago. A 42 year old man that I went to high school with seems to have lost his mind. We are planning a 25th HS reunion and he some how got involved. Ended up threatening one of the other women and called me a “fat ass bitch”. WTH!? 42 years old and the best you can come up with is to call me fat? Yeesh! Oh well. I decided the best way to deal with him was to ignore him. He seems to have faded back into his life for now though. Mental illness is sad. Being a dickhead is pathetic.

Speaking of swearing. My days of doing it all of the time are over. Having a daughter that is almost 3 and a little mocking bird have taught me that it is not a good idea. There are stories there – but I will spare you all. YIKES! And besides – nobody likes a potty mouth.

Just heard in my living room –

“ANNABELLA!!! Don’t pick your boogies!! That is GROSS!”

Life is grand!!