Wednesday, November 11, 2009

NSV's and random thoughts....

This is kinda just free thought for the night -- And I thought I would share.

I looked in the mirror tonight and did a double take -- FINALLY my boobs stick out farther than my stomach.

When I looked again in the mirror -- I saw that my back was flat. Not bunches of back fat.

I work out harder when I can not see myself in the mirror. When I see myself I remember how fat I still am...and how much farther I have to go.

I went to breakfast with friends the other day and I fit into the REALLY small side of a booth. When we went to sit down I saw how small it was and tried to get to the bigger side to no avail. So I planned on squeeeeezing in and being uncomfortable. I slid in with no problem.

All of my new pretty undies that I bought three weeks ago are now a size too big.

A friend was nice enough to get me a size 20 jeans - I am running out of clothes that actually fit and are not huge on me - I looked at them thinking that they would be WAY too small (they are actually about 2ish inches smaller in the waist than my other 20's). I did not want to try them on around anyone for fear of being embarrassed but that was not really an option. I put them on and while they were a little snug in the waist (I carry most of my weight in my stomach) THEY FIT! And I did not suffocate when I buttoned them.

People can hug me and put their arms all of the way around me. - We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth. I need to grow.

I have lost 60 pounds on this journey.

If I miss a day working out -- I actually MISS it. I LIKE working out. I have not felt this way in a long time. I am actually looking for more time to be able to work out. I want to add weight lifting and toning into my routine.

I WANT to be pretty. I WANT to put make up on, do my hair, shave my legs and all of that happy stuff. And I now do those things. And most of the time, I DO feel pretty.

Writing my blog is a great way to help me work things out in my own head.

I watched The Biggest Loser (I am a big fan - no pun intended) and I cried. I would love to have the ability to dedicate that much time and effort to working out.

I NEED more love in my life. I feel able to GIVE more love.

In most ways - I am happier than I have ever been.

Not only are my rings too big, but my feet are almost a size smaller.

Physically, I feel better than I have in longer than I can remember.

But for now - It has been a hard, exhausting and emotionally draining night - And I need sleep.

Those are my thoughts for the night..... I wish you love, peace and 20 hugs a day....

289/229/size 10/mini goal - another 20 pounds by New Years (time to step it up!!)
Banded July 14, 2009
Dr. Weiss, Auburn, NY

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