Monday, July 2, 2012

Shoved off the band wagon

If you do not care to read back - I will give you a historical synopsis.  July 14th, 09 I had a gastric lapband.  I went from 289 pounds down to 214 and back up to 246.  I am back down again - Somewhere around 238.  I have a long ways to go.  A LONG WAY.

I have started Zumba back, only to give up.  I started 30 Day Shred and gave up.  I read Clean Eating by Tosca Reno and gave up.  Started going to the gym...and you guessed it.  Gave up.   Well - as they say - tomorrow is another day.  I am back on the Shred and the gym and soon to be Zumba.  And working on Clean Eating. 

I am easy to slip into depression.  I do not do with with feeling like friends are competing with me.  When the fun goes out I am out.  When the stress comes on - I stress eat and sleep.  I shut down.

That is the TRUTH about THIS fat chick.

Some how I am finding my groove again.  Two of my friends from High School went to a Biggest Loser  Resort in Utah.  SO inspiring.  I am reading other fat chick blogs for inspiration. 
 Trying to be the best mom I can be.  The best wife I can be.  I try, I fail, I try again - I keep trying.

Tonight Mel and Michelle and I came up with
The math of Fat Chicks --
Fat, hungry, Angry = Fapangry
Bored and hungry = Bongry
Hungry and Angry = Hangry

I have been a combination of all of these tonight.

I got up this morning at 7 and was at the gym at 730.  3 minutes on some kind of death machine designed to kill me.  It was even at the entrance of the gym.  Then 30 minutes on the bike.  And then the whole circuit workout.   I would have gone swimming after but my work out buddy had to get back home.  I am going again in the morning to do it all over again.

My goal is to now try to blog at least every other day.  We will see how that goes.  

Thursday morning I am having surgery.  I am not happy about it - But it seems to just be the way it is.  I am having an ablation and it will take away any other hope of having any more babies.  Not that I was going to have any more anyways....3 failed IVFs in the past 2 years.  No eggs.  And please no one say I am lucky to have the kids I have.  That would not end nicely.

 If you read back you will see about my infertility quest.  My girls and my life.  

Stick with me on this journey.  Cheer me on.  I need the help.  I need the support.



  1. I had gastric bypass in 1999...way last century...i began at 315 lowest was 138...size back to 230...(screaming) i feel horrible...feel depressed...feel exhausted...factor in that its summer and 200 degrees...(i dont do shorts..) drip drip...even when i lost all the weight i had so much loose skin..i looked funding covered the skin i filled it back up...still lots hanging...we lost all medical dont know where my vitamin levels are...knees ache...etc etc....

  2. I'm cheering you on :) I'd love to be a support friend. I'll be praying for your surgery Thursday. I can only imagine all the emotions accompanied with that. So sorry.