Thursday, January 20, 2011

January 19, 2000 til now.

Eleven years ago yesterday I gave birth to my triplets. 2 girls and a boy. Olivia Rose, Avery Clare and Maxwell James. The best and worst day of my life. I never knew what love was before I had them. They died. My marriage ended. I lost all of my friends. I had a breakdown.

When my married ended. Very few people stood by me. Even my very best friends did not understand. I was alone. And I found love all over again. Ken was in my life. I had found love.

Some people do not know what it has taken me 18 years to have my beautiful Lilly. I started infertility treatments when I was 22 years old. I am now spitting distance from 41. I want another one.

My life is complicated. My relationships are complicated. The way I love is complicated. My life has more love in it than I ever could have imagined. It is different. But it is happy and it is mine.
I still have that hippy chick commune living mentality. And I am good with it.

While I do not quote scripture and PTL in public all of the time. I am good with my spiritual connection. I am a work in progress. I usually feel like Weezy in Steel Magnolias - at the end where she says - YES, I PRAY! -- It seems to surprise people that someone so liberal, someone who can love more than one person at a time, someone so far to the left -- prays often. But I do.

I want to have another baby. I know that I am not done having babies yet. We shall see what this year brings for us. I was SO very blessed to have my beautiful 15 year old niece move in with us this year. She is a wonderful, bright, funny and caring girl. She is typical of most 15 year olds -- always with her cell in her hand. To me - She is perfect. Both of my girls are.

Lilly will be 3 March 27th. Who would have EVER thought that I would have a 3 year old!?!?! She is amazing. Funny as all get out -- NEVER closes her mouth. Who knows where that comes from!?!?! HA!

Life is far from easy - But it is mine - And it is a good life.


ps - This was going to be about all of the junk I have eaten in the past two days to sooth my soul, my lack of exercising, the fact that I have gained weight, blah blah blah.... But once I started writing -- It just wasn't all that important...

1 comment:

  1. Life is a journey~ One in which we record everyday in our own private journal of time. No two entries the same.
    For me, the important thing is simply this: ... When the last line recorded, when the last chapter is closed and our book is sealed forever .... Have we made the right decisions and followed the right path? Your realness and transparity touches me deeply! May God bless you with a house full of children~ Danan