Eleven years ago yesterday I gave birth to my triplets. 2 girls and a boy. Olivia Rose, Avery Clare and Maxwell James. The best and worst day of my life. I never knew what love was before I had them. They died. My marriage ended. I lost all of my friends. I had a breakdown.
When my married ended. Very few people stood by me. Even my very best friends did not understand. I was alone. And I found love all over again. Ken was in my life. I had found love.
Some people do not know what it has taken me 18 years to have my beautiful Lilly. I started infertility treatments when I was 22 years old. I am now spitting distance from 41. I want another one.
My life is complicated. My relationships are complicated. The way I love is complicated. My life has more love in it than I ever could have imagined. It is different. But it is happy and it is mine.
I still have that hippy chick commune living mentality. And I am good with it.
While I do not quote scripture and PTL in public all of the time. I am good with my spiritual connection. I am a work in progress. I usually feel like Weezy in Steel Magnolias - at the end where she says - YES, I PRAY! -- It seems to surprise people that someone so liberal, someone who can love more than one person at a time, someone so far to the left -- prays often. But I do.
I want to have another baby. I know that I am not done having babies yet. We shall see what this year brings for us. I was SO very blessed to have my beautiful 15 year old niece move in with us this year. She is a wonderful, bright, funny and caring girl. She is typical of most 15 year olds -- always with her cell in her hand. To me - She is perfect. Both of my girls are.
Lilly will be 3 March 27th. Who would have EVER thought that I would have a 3 year old!?!?! She is amazing. Funny as all get out -- NEVER closes her mouth. Who knows where that comes from!?!?! HA!
Life is far from easy - But it is mine - And it is a good life.
ps - This was going to be about all of the junk I have eaten in the past two days to sooth my soul, my lack of exercising, the fact that I have gained weight, blah blah blah.... But once I started writing -- It just wasn't all that important...