or it could be titled -- Where the hell have I been!?!?!
Hello!! I am not sure if everyone knows me...I have not posted in what seems like ages.
This year I turned 40. Yes. I know. I am older than most of the other Mamas around here. And yet, not as old as some. Lilly will be 2 in 21 days.
I am in awe of her. I watch her do things and sometimes it makes me cry. Sometimes I listen to her sing or talk to herself and it makes me cry. I could not be any prouder of her if she walked on water. It is smart, beautiful and funny as hell. She has my temper and her father's stubborn attitude. She looks nothing like me. Except the color of her eyes. And oddly enough - I am raising a child in Central New York with a southern accent.
She pretend plays, can count to ten, and loves to sing. She knows the colors pink and yellow. She still takes a bottle, sucks her binkie and drinks from a sippy. She is potty training herself. She tells when she has to potty and we go. We will get more serious about it next month. She has yet to have her first haircut and her mullet FINALLY started to grow in (THANK GOD). She talks with a lisp so instead of saying yes -- it sounds more like yeth. She still has a giant gap between her two front teeth. She goes to the sitters a couple of days a week just so she gets to play with other kids and doesn't spend too much time with Mama. She plays well with others (most of the time). She never met a pair of shoes she didn't LOVE. She adores farm animals. So much so that the theme of her birthday party is going to be farm animals.
Unlike some people -- I have always wanted to be a mother. I have always wanted to have my own children. I did not fall accidentally into mother hood. I spent 18 (yes, I said EIGHTEEN) years trying to become one. I did my first IUI shortly after my 21st birthday. I did not conceive until I was 28. That was my first IVF. We implanted three embroys and three took. I went into labor at 25 weeks. I stayed in the hospital "upside down" for almost 4 weeks. I gave birth at 29 weeks and they only lived for a day. It took me a divorce, a move to NYC, a new husband, a move to Upstate and over 6 years to try again. 4 IVFs in 2007....Lilly was our last IVF of that year. And TAADAAAAA!!! Here we are today. More blessed than I ever thought we would be.
We have had two failed cycles lately. One with no eggs. And one with only one egg. Soon we will do it all over again.
I would love for Lilly to get to be a big sister. She would be really good at it. And I would love for Ken and I to get to be parents to another baby. We would be really good at it too.
So there you have it all in a nut shell.
Lilly will be two soon. Ken will be 50 in April, I am over 40 and time marches on....
All the best...
Keb (and Lilly and Ken too!)
If you haven't already -- And you want to -- Find us on FB (KebandKen Rose). I am constantly updating her pics there...
****This was also posted on the fertility forum that I participate in****